The other day I was talking to a friend of mine about the dangers of people-pleasing, later I wrote this...
People-pleasing is bad for reasons far more important than the fact that it causes us to be over worked and over committed. When pleasing people is our primary concern we are walking in idolatry. I see two ways that this is true:
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1) when I seek to please people I am making myself God. One reason I might have for pleasing people is the thought, "If I don't provide for them, no one will." Not only does this show a misunderstanding of how i relate to other people, but it shows a misunderstanding of good works as a whole. It is not my job to provide anyone with satisfaction. In fact, I am not even capable of providing another person with satisfaction; that is God's job. The problem with this sort of people-pleasin is that it causes us to forget that we are supposed to obey God and care for people because of love, not because of need. The moment I imagine that I am providing something that God can't, or that He won't, I am elevating myself to his position and am not longer serving Him, or others, out of love, I am "serving" Him out of anxiety.
2)another way that people-pleasing becomes a form of idolatry is when other people become my god. Rather than feeling justified, satisfied, and glorified because of what Christ has done, I begin to feel like i want something more, I begin to feel like I need your approval. The problem with this is primarily that it robs us of our ability to delight in the love that God has lavished on us. When I make another poerson's approval, or love, or anything else my God I am unable to delight in the fact that God knows everything I need, and He has given me exactly that. When I worship the opinions of other people I trust the thoughts and feelings of people over what God has given to me.
In short, people-pleasing is a refection of the fact that, whether it be in our own lives or in the lives of others, we do not trust God to provide salvation in people's everday lives. The fact is that the Gospel is for every day, not just heaven. The Gospel says that each day God has given me new mercies that provide specifically for the needs I have today, that each day God will give me the bread I need to live, that each day God has saved me from any need that I might have, and that each day I can walk confidently in the victory that Jesus won for me on the cross.
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1 comment:
These are truthful thoughts, my friend. I'm so thankful for you. God has reminded me that his grace is sufficient for me, through your friendship and wisdom. I claim that truth in my heart daily.
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