Desperation

"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God" (John 6:68&69).

I like Peter. He made a lot of mistakes, but in the midst of his folly is a heart that is utterly desperate for God. I relate to Him in this passage. Just before he says this, jesus sees that many people are leaving Him after He had spoken some truth that they didn't want to hear. After they left, He turned to His disciples and asked if they were also going to leave--Peter says what I would say if Jesus asked me that, "NO! Please no! Don't let me leave you. Where else would I go? What else could I do? You've seen my works, you know my heart. I am so helpless without You!" Ok, so that's a paraphrase, but I think it's an accurate one. This is not a response of arrogant piety, it's a cry of desperation. This is how I feel, and sometimes I think that my inability to be righteous is the only thing that keeps me near to God. Yet, I thank Him for that, I thank Him that I have no choice, in light of my behavior, other than humility and childlike dependency. I know that it is His strength, and nothing else, that brings me to righteousness, and in this state, where i have nowhere that I could possibly go for life, I am satisfied by the one and only living, faithful God. Hallelujah!